May 05, 2016

Hidden Treasure (part 2)

John took a deep breath before he started to say anything to his son. After a long breathe, he finally ready to say something, “My son, I want you to pick up a bag inside that big wardrobe” Taylor moved his body and he looked at the big wardrobe. He opened the wardrobe and he searched for the bag which his father had told him. He grabbed an outworn big brown leather sling bag. The bag was a little bit heavy and it got lots of things inside. John then explained what the purpose of it. He also explained each of the items which were inside the bag. There were four piece of clothing for each season, a blanket, some food, a penknife, one bottle of water, and a map.

He then told his son to find a treasure which everyone would die for. Taylor asked to his father what the treasure was, but John said he did not know since he never once looked for it. At first, Taylor was half-hearted, he was worrying about his father’s condition and thought that no one would take care of him, furthermore he was slothful. However, John insisted and soft-soaped his son, telling him that he would be okay by the time he got back.

Taylor then asked one of his neighbor, Leah, an old widow, and asked if she could take care of his father while he gone. Since she got nothing to do and no child to be nurse of, she agreed. Taylor was very thankful to Leah and he decided to go on a journey to find the treasure. He hugged his father and glanced at him one more time, then he was off and away.

As Taylor walked eagerly, he felt a bit tired. He found a small river and he decided to stop and rest under a big tree. He opened his bag and look for something to eat, it turned out that the food inside his bag was raw, all of them were raw. He started to panic wherefore he did not know anything about cooking raw food in the wild. He then stood up and tried to look for some fruit. As he walked round, he came across a berry tree. He was not sure if the berry was poisonous or not, on the other hand he was starving. After a long term of thinking, he decided not to eat the berry and went back to the tree.

At the time he got back, he found a bear rummaged his bag. As his bag was full of raw fish and some chicken meat, “Oh for heaven’s sake, seriously?.” He wanted the bear to go away but he did not know what to do. Suddenly, the bear deflect its head and realized that he was being spotted by Taylor. The bear rushed to catch Taylor and he immediately run and looked for a tree. He climbed up the tree and hoped for the bear to go away. He felt terrified and he got sweat running down his body making his clothes soaking wet. 

After a long period of time, the bear got bushed and went away. Taylor climbed down slowly and made his way back to the big tree where he left his bag. Whacked, starved, froze gathered up when he discovered that there was no food left inside the bag. When the day started to turn dark, Taylor changed his wet clothes into a warmer one and he attempted to rest. Of course he did not sleep like a log, since he was starving and it was freezing and lots of insect had bite him.

It had been three days of suffering and Taylor had not eaten yet, all he had was just water. He filled up his bottle with water from the river. In the morning, he felt so desperate and he was thinking of going back home. Just when he started to pack up his bag, he saw a big frog hopped around nearby. He skulked and approached the frog carefully. When the frog tried to escape, he rushed to catch it and he succeeded. He put it in to a plastic bag which was used as his previous food and tied it up. He looked for some lumber and dry grasses. He attempted to make a fire to cook the frog. After some time, he managed to make up the fire. “At last!”, he said. After having a very light breakfast, he then continued following the map in search for the treasure.

Time had gone quickly and the weather had changed into winter. Taylor did not know what time it was, all he knew was light and dark. Along his journey he had learned how to make a spear from a bamboo and use it to haunt for food. He had been walking so far until he could not feel the soreness in his feet. All he had in his mind was finding the treasure and brought it back to his father.

After a long walk, he finally saw a village which was written in the map as his final destination, he hoped that he could find the treasure. The village was much bigger than Storybroke, but the villagers were different. Unlike Storybroke which all of the villagers lived in equal condition and shared what they have between one and other, this village was horrible. They were careless, arrogant and they also did not care about their neighbors. When he got to a market, everybody was yelling at each other with a high tone voice and all their food was not fresh.

Then Taylor felt hungry, “What should I buy? Everything in here smells like dirt”. Suddenly, he saw a bakery, “Perhaps I could go in there and have a look”. He then bought a medium size bread with sugar dust on top and a bottle of milk, since his money was only enough to buy those. Leaving the bakery, he saw a little girl and an old man sitting on the other side of the road. They look frizzing and starving. He then approached them and asked them, “Hello there, may I know your name?”

“Hi Mister, I’m Jade and this is my grandfather Neil”, the little girl answered with a trembled sound and the old man smiled.

“Please, just call me Taylor little J. Don’t you have somewhere to warm you up?”, asked Taylor.

“We used to have one, but we got kicked out because we have to sell it for our debt of buying food, since I don’t have a job anymore”, said Neil stumbling.

Looking at them, reminded him of his father. He wondered how he was right now and he missed him so much. After a hard deliberation with himself, Taylor decided to give his bread and milk to them. They were very grateful, jade had a big smiled and hugged him. Then he left to continue his journey. Taylor then reached to the place where the treasure was hidden, he hasted and looked at every single spot. After a long game of staring, he …


Want to know what Taylor had found? Find out in my next post which will be up very soon. See you all!

3 comments:

  1. Wow, it is such a long story anyway. But I can enjoy reading your post.
    Your grammar and vocabularies are good.
    By the way, on your second paragraph you wrote "He then told his son to find a treasure which everyone would die for."
    I think it's better for you if you write "Then he told his son to............"
    I hope you know what I mean.
    Can't wait to read your next part of the story, Nina! ^^

    ReplyDelete
  2. The same as the upper comment, pretty long story though. :-P But I enjoyed reading your story! It felt like I'm reading a childhood story! It reminds me of my childhood though.. Your sentence is good, just don't get satisfied with your achievement and keep on writing! Just a few things here to give: use other words or expressions to make your story "glamorous" and don't forget to give indent in every paragraph. Keep up the good work! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Such an interesting story Nina:) definitely you make your reader enjoy reading your story. You have a good idea in this story. You have variation in your vocabullary. Can't wait to read the ending of your story. Goodluck Nina!

    ReplyDelete